Podcast Interviews

Answers For Real Men

January 31,2018 / Podcast / admin

Listen to the full interview here ( 53:15 minutes)

 

Full Transcript

Hey everybody, coach and we are in for a treat today on another special episode of answers for real men. This is episode number 29 and today my guest is a true a lover of people. His name is Tom Swab. His business is called interview valet and Tom Truly knows how to build an online business. He knows that marketing at his part is starting a conversation with someone who could be an ideal customer. Tom Helps business owners, entrepreneurs and solo preneurs get featured on leading podcasts that their prospects are already listening to. Then he shows them how to turn listeners into customers a, he’s an amazing guy and he truly, he understands the concept of working with people because as he says, compared to running a nuclear power plant, it’s a piece of cake, but Tom is also a an author. His book is called podcast guests, prophets. He’s a husband, a father, a grandfather, and he truly is a special man with a special heart for people.

He truly, as I said earlier, he loves people and I know you guys are gonna. Get just a lot out of this episode. Just listening to this man’s heart in his and what he’s doing right now as he’s disrupting the, um, the marketing space with his, with his company, interview Valet. So I know you’re in for a treat and I know I am as a, uh, as a man because this guy is a, he’s, he’s a true man, a real man, and he’s given us some real great information today on how we could make a difference in our lives through what we do, by networking with other people. Again, I am proud and pleased to bring on my good friend Tom.

All right. Hey, this is coach Arnie with answers for real men and I am blessed today to be with my good friend Tom. How you doing, Tom? Already? The only way it could be doing better as if we were both sitting there together. You know, it’s funny, when I interviewed a good friend of yours

and I considered him a friend. Now, uh, Aaron Walker. Um, whenever I hear Aaron, I always hear him smiling as I said to him. And whenever I see his picture, he’s got that big smile. So I said, I go, Aaron, I can hear you smiling through the phone. He goes, man, that’s cause I am smiling. So I liked that. So that was unique too. So I like, I like what you’re saying that I’m going to steal that one time. I’m gonna steal that one. Well, I, I’m Tom, I’m, I’m great. I’m grateful that you’re here on answers for real men. Let me just start off with a question that I share with all my guests and that’s what brings Tom Joy and make you come alive as a man today.

Connecting other people. I think, um, uh, you know, we’re, we’re Richard by our relationships and Richmond doesn’t mean your bank account, that’s a small, small portion of it, but if you want a rich, really rich life, you know, get, get introduced to more ideas, more people, more more good men. And I just loved doing that. That’s a, uh, that’s one of the things that brings me great joy.

You know, what’s interesting about that, um, one of the things that I do as a, as a coach is one of my areas of specialty is relationships. And effective communication, all that stuff. But uh, when I do workshops I share with people that if we have, if you want happiness or joy in your life, it’s about creating great relationships, meaning that if you have great relationships at work, you don’t mind being at work. If you have a great relationship at home, you certainly don’t mind being at home. And if you have great relationships in other areas of your life, you certainly know, like spending, you certainly liked spending time in those areas. So it sounds like relationship building is a, is a big thing and they all start to shake their head. Yeah. And so when I hear you, because what you’re really doing is you’re bringing joy and happiness to either businesses or individuals by connecting them with other people.

Oh very much so. And to me, that’s the greatest gift that you can ever give somebody, you know, is to, to connect them with a new person or new idea. You know, I, I always say I, I have a coffee achiever, you know, because coffee attic sounds really bad. So if you give me a $5 starbucks gift card, I guarantee you it, it won’t go to waste, but you know, a week from now I won’t remember who bought me that cup of coffee, but you know what, I will forever be indebted to the man that introduced me to my wife, the demand that introduced me to a friend or an idea. And the funny part is, is that that gift doesn’t cost you anything, but it’s priceless to someone else.

No, it certainly isn’t. Just like, um, I’ll always remember the reason I got to that we’re talking on the phone and hopefully one we’ll meet in that.

I’m a gentleman did I did his show, Joe Foley, a dad, you know, he started a podcast about helping other dads, you know, deal with the pain that he’s going through. Um, and you know, um, he says, Arnie, you’ve got to talk to Tom First. You said your wife. So, uh, I guess it will be your better half. He said you need to talk to Karen and the proof that God loves me. There you go. So he said, you need to talk to Karen. She, she can help you too, to connect with Aaron Walker and Dan Moyle and then, I hate to say this, Tom, but she did mention you last or he did well either way. I was just blessed that your wife was so helpful to me and I’m forever blessed because you know, if somebody that’s new in this whole thing here and gosh, all of a sudden my world took a leap because of the connection with you.

So there you go. I mean without even trying, you did it well in that, in that group of men there I’m honored to even be included now. Much less a half three or we’ve got a team of 10 people here all us based and I’m always amazed. Everybody’s Rolodex, everybody’s relationship is night, but when you get different people together, it’s like, Hey, well this person be great for this show. What do you think of this? And it’s amazing that just the magic that happens with that, you know, it’s synergy. One plus one doesn’t equal two. It equals four and it’s geometric. I love that. I love that. Well, you know what, since you kind of swerved down this road, let’s, let’s take a few minutes Tom, and let’s talk about a interview valet and were, how did it develop? I mean, word. Where did Tom Schwab uh, developed is what’s, what’s, what’s in your background that, that fed into this idea.

Where did it come from? I would have to say there’s, there’s two pivotal things. The first one was my first job out of college, which was running a nuclear power plants in the navy and that taught me that everything can be standardized and put in systems or reproducible results. Right. The scary part is, is that scary or amazing is that the average person run a nuclear power plant in the navy is high school educated at about 21 years old. So when people tell me, Oh, you don’t understand my business, it’s too complicated. I could never teach it to anybody. I could. I could never systematize it. I’m like, dude, people or run a nuclear reactors right now. And so your business is not more complicated than that. So that was one thing. And then the other part was, uh, my background is inbound marketing, uh, I built up a company from a regional player to a national leader and sold it off using what’s called inbox of Arcadia, and it’s a term that came out of two guys out of Mit and they noticed that the world was changing, right? That people were using the Internet to find answers to questions. You know, when you put into Google search, it’s usually a question

and define inbound marketing using the internet or

that’s what I defined a death. It’s like it’s really using content, using answers to attract new customers to, to engage them, you know, to build that know, like, and trust. And that used to be a blogs, right? Ten years ago when I was building up my company, blogs were all the thing. And what we noticed was that in the last few years, about four years ago, the blogs weren’t working as well. We’re saturated. But podcasts are really taken off. And so I, my hypothesis was, is, you know, let’s test this. Could you use podcast interviews almost like we used to use guest blogs, right? So instead of writing a blog and put it on my site and it being read by myself, my wife and my mom, um, why don’t we put it on, you know, whatever it is, the Huffington Post, Wall Street Journal, Wherever your ideal customers are, get that know, like, and trust and, you know, let people know who you are and drive the traffic back that way.

So we thought is, could you do the same thing on podcast, you know, podcast, we’re starting to take off about four years ago and instead of starting your own podcast, could you go on other people’s podcasts to get in front of their audience, get them to know who you are, know your heart, um, and uh, you know, see how you could serve them. And Aaron Walker was one of our first clients. I always, I always say that he was sort of our test dummy for this and I was just amazed how well it worked. And at first I thought, well, it’s just the man. It’s just the personality. Maybe it’s just the niche that he was in. But the more we tested it, the more we worked with different clients, what we found out, it’s like, no, this really works, that it’s a, it’s a system, it’s a reproducible marketing system that we use with thought leaders, authors, speakers, coaches, emerging brands in order to get them in front of their ideal customers. And we really focus on three verticals. So there’s no so much where our clients are, but we’re, our ideal customers are. And those verticals are business faith and Christianity and health, nutrition and wellness.

I like that. It’s so. It’s so funny. I mean, that’s, those are my three areas that, I mean obviously my, uh, my expertise, my background is exercise physiology. I used to do, um, I’ll have to compete with you with your nuclear power plant operating. But I used to do brain and spinal cord rehab. Wow. Okay. Oh yeah. I mean, so when I, I always get the wow answer. I, when I started that, when I tell that to people. So yeah, that’s what I used to do. I used to work with traumatic brain and spinal cord injuries and they go, oh my God. And then I get a double wow when I say, yeah, I have a 37 year old son who has a brain injury and I didn’t, and he didn’t have that when I started, but it’s all part of my story and uh, but, but you know what, and that’s why.

But that’s kind of what drives me, Tom as well. Kinda like, you know, you came up with this system. My thing was, you know, as you know, as a coach, that’s why I love when I was reading through you guys and stuff. Um, you know, it’s kind kinda for me it was like what came first, the chicken or the egg. I mean, if I were to run through, if I would have ran into Tom Schwab, uh, literally, uh, last spring, um, I would probably be doing what you’re, I would probably be working more through that aspect of it because boy, I tell you what, learning how to do a podcast was, it was a chore and um, and, but I was bound and determined to figure that doggone thing out. And um, but, and that’s why when I was, I was reading through that, I mean, I love it and that’s why I love doing interviews as well because, you know, I’m a talker, but doing the bought the podcast, what I’m doing with you right now, it’s taught me discipline and how to ask questions and how to listen. And I think that’s critical because, uh, and that’s why I think you’re doing such a, um, uh, of, of uh, uh, um, you’re adding such value to the community right now is what you guys are doing because yeah, there’s, there are a lot of people out here that can teach and coach and, but they need help to get the message out. Is that what you’re finding?

Very much so. And you know, when people ask me, you know, I’ve been on over a podcast interviews, why don’t you, why don’t you have your own podcast? Doesn’t have to be honest with them. I’m like, oh, because I’m lazy, right? There’s a lot of work that goes into that. There is one that says, anyone that says, do we have podcast as easy as either never done it or never done it? Well, you know, the great ones make it look easy. If it’s like football, you know, all I’d love to play, you know, I’d love to play a game for two hours on the Sunday afternoon. That looks like fun. You don’t see all the work that goes into that. So from that standpoint, um, I, I think, uh, you can do either or, or both. Um, but you know, what drives me is just introducing people, uh, the world.

Uh, you know, I think the cruelest punishment that you can do on anybody is, um, is solitary confinement right at, uh, in most places that’s cruel and unusual punishment. And I mean, the Bible says it’s not good for man to be alone. Now it’s very early in their. Now they may be talking about a man and women or whatever, but that statement is in there. Um, but yeah, I think so many of us today do that, you know, um, I work from home, we’ve got a team is all virtual in the US, but we’re all by ourselves and it’s very easy to get isolated, uh, to uh, to sort of put yourself in solitary confinement and, and I think that’s an awful thing. It’s just I love to connect people and uh, either through podcasting or just friends of friends and say, Hey, you need to to meet this person because it will make both your lives better.

You know, it’s funny you bring that up. I’m like I told you earlier, I think in the pre and the pre and the pre talk, I’m working on a little marketing myself and I’m putting together a kind of a condensed story, my story and it’s very, it’s very emotional. And so I, I just finished it this morning. I, I asked my wife, I said, hey, you want to hear this? And I go, I go, don’t be offended because I had to talk about her a little bit and some stuff that we’re going through about, gosh, eight years now. And maybe nine and so right away I want to hit that. After about the second sentence, she goes, no, you can’t. I go, hold on, let me finish. You can’t do that. I go, I know. Hold on. I’m sorry. I said, don’t be offended by the time I was done.

We were both crying. And I go, well that’s the effect I want because it’s our story. It’s true. But the point of that whole thing, Tom, was that men, we don’t talk to anybody when my wife has an issue, she’s got a. She said she’s got five psychologists you can call called her friends and they can, they can moan and Groan to each other and they go, oh yeah, but if I did that to her, if I came home every night and did that to her, she think I was nuts. And I was just, as I was working with somebody this morning, we had a long talk about, um, my coach who I’ve known who’s coached me for 43 years in athletics and everything you can imagine. And he’s 70, 76, 77 right in there. His wife died a couple of years ago. He’s in a real tough situation.

He runs his phenomenal facility where we work out to nonprofit any struggling and because he’s helping everybody all day long, you know, talking to them and, but you know, no one ever sits down with him and let him just pour out his heart and my friend says, Arnie, what about me going over there? And I go, well, I go a great way for you to build that trust. Like you said, no, like, and trust with him. I go, I can do it with him because he, because I love him and he loves me, but a lot of times I don’t have an hour to spend there, you know what I’m saying? And it breaks my heart. Um, because look at us men, we don’t do this stuff. We don’t, we don’t sit around like in the barber shop or the coffee shop like we used to. And I love Aaron story about him and, and Dan Miller. And um, was it Dave Ramsey sitting around the coffee shop or whoever he sat around the coffee shop with, but men don’t do that anymore, do they talk?

They don’t, but I think there’s different ways to do that, right? Because in some ways the world is smaller from the standpoint of, um, I don’t sit around the barber shop here. Um, um, I don’t see my neighbors as much, you know, I don’t go into an office and interact with people there this much, but I can, I can interact with people online. So I am a huge proponent of masterminds and I love that because we can jump on a, um, a, a zoom ball, you know, a video video call and within an hour have 10 guys on there from around the world that have different viewpoints on things. And also it’s a different viewpoints, different stages in life. But also it’s very confidential too, right? So if I, if I go to church and I, and I share something, well those people, you know, they know my kids, they don’t, my wife, all the rest of that.

You may not be as open there, but if you’re on a call and you know, there’s people there from a united Arab Emirates, Canada, Australia, this diverse audience, I think it can be a lot more honest and open with them in some ways. So it, and I like it too because no, no, to go to the, uh, the, uh, the barbershop or the coffee shop. Well, it’s a, it’s a 15 minute drive there, 15 minutes drive back. Whereas now with, uh, with technology was a great time to be alive. I can connect with anybody in the world that has an Internet connection for free and we can talk with video.

No, I love that. And I love that whole concept at a. and I don’t know if Aaron came up with it or not, but I tell you what, I mean, I love it. And that’s why when I listened to his podcast, it’s, um, you know, they make you feel comfortable and that’s, that’s the key for you guys. Have to feel safe, you know. Uh, I know when I first jumped in this journey, you know, uh, it was at a men’s, a class at my church and, and I didn’t even want to go to it and I thought, man, this is dumb. And I go, then I walk into a room of 75 other guys and I go, wow, look at, look, I’m not the screwed up guy here and this is kind of cool. And so it started me on an amazing journey though and where I’m at today because I saw this, I saw this gap of, you know, where we are in life today and what our expectations were, where we should have been and when, when guys couldn’t figure out how to close the gap, they started to suffer.

And that’s why I love the whole idea that, that the errands doing with the mastermind. Because if guys just knew a place they could go and hop on a call with a real men like Dan and yourself and Aaron and other men and just just share their, you know, their soul man. And just open up a little bit and, and, and, and have another man, like you said, put his hand on their shoulder and say, hey, listen, you need to, you need to pull your head out or you need to or whatever they need, you know, but we need to hear it, you know, we need to hear it because sometimes you got to get a kick in the pants and sometimes you need a hug. Um, you know,

thing is, is that with that already, I think the, you know, your, your friends and your family, they want you to be happy, right? People in your mastermind, I want you to be better. And there’s a big difference in that. And there’s a great book out there called fully alive by Ken Davis, a fully alive by Ken Davis. It’s a book. And he also did a, uh, a video presentation with it. He’s a Christian comedian, super neat guy. But what is the things that he says in that book that always struck me is he said, nothing will ruin your relationships with your spouse, your family, your work, your friends, or your Creator. More than trying to pretend like you’re perfect because they all know you’re not. And I think we see so many people that, you know, um, they’re perfect and people sort of wait for him, like, well, I wonder what he’s going to figure out that he’s not. And there’s something about being, being humble and being able to say, you know, I haven’t got this all figured out, you know, what do you come beside me? And uh, you know, it doesn’t always come from age, you know, that, uh, you’re in a mastermind group and, and sometimes the people that are younger will have different insights or they’ll ask a question that you’re like, wow, I should be asking that in my life too. So we can all learn from each other.

Well, you know, it kind of leads me to my next question. I’ll ask you a little bit about which is fear because I have learned over the last really five, six years since I closed my, my company, um, the, the, the being vulnerable. And I had to learn that once I became vulnerable, I was empowered because now I didn’t have to hide. I didn’t have to hide and just like with my wife, you know, she knows where all the warts are and everything and I can’t hide her and she’ll look at me sometimes when, when she calls me out on my stuff that, you know, because she knows I’m, I work with a lot of couples and things. She goes, she goes, you know, you need to follow your own advice.

I go, I know. Thank you for, for bringing it up. I’m good. And because you know, we do it, we, we, we try. We didn’t mean to do a better job of doing what I call an executive meeting where we get together at least once every other week and we, we go through our little resentments or a little resistance, excuse me, before it gets to the resentment and then because we want to really avoid any rejections. And then eventually where most couples end up, which is repression, which is where they’re just kind of existing there and, and all that can be avoided by just hitting those little things that Nag is everyday. Like, you know, leaving the toothpaste cap off or something silly. You know, but they build up and so we try to, we try to talk about it and in a loving way and then go out and do something fun and, and, um, boy, it really helps in one of the things I teach couples, but, but let me because of that, that fear of vulnerability for a lot of men. What does Tom Schwab, what do you, what do you fear, Tom? What, what, what are things that you, um, that you deal with in your own life that you might have some problems with?

Biggest fear is disappointing people. Um, you know, I don’t want to disappoint my wife. Uh, uh, I don’t want to disappoint customers. And you know, some people say, well, is that a fear of failure? No, I’m fine with it and with failing if it’s me, but I don’t want somebody else to disappoint them. And uh, you know, Aaron was one that challenged me on this and he says, are you looking for, for people’s approval or are you looking for God’s approval? I said, well, I think it sort of goes along with that, you know, uh, what, what do we all hope for that someday we’ll get told, well done, good and faithful servant. There you go. Now what’s my biggest fear is saying, wow, you disappointed me and was happening. The other one’s help. And so I look at that and he always encourages me to do your best.

You know, God knows, you know, in your heart, um, other people will, will, Doug will judge you, and if you know you’ve done your best and you’re trying to do your best, that’s all you can to me. Um, you know, uh, the, the, the, the worst thing that my wife could ever say to me would be not disappointed in you. And I’ve used that a couple of times for my own motivation from the standpoint. I said, it’ll, Karen got to promise me, if I don’t have this done by Friday, you Friday at 5:00 PM, I want you to ask me. And if I say no, I don’t have it done, just say I’m disappointed

in you. And she’s like, no, I can’t say that. And I’m like, please, please, I will say a fall Thursday night to get that done because I don’t, I never want to hear those words from my wife. You know, it’s interesting you bring that up because, um, you know, we’re born with two natural fears, the fear of loud noises, which is how they test you for your hearing when you’re a baby or an. And if you’ve ever been in a lightning storm, a guarantee, I don’t care how tough you are, you jumping, uh, you know, it’s just, it’s automatic. There’s no, there’s no thought process. And the other fear we’re born with is a fear of falling. I work a lot of older folks and uh, and it’s not so much. I used to think it was a fear of heights because I’m afraid of heights, but it’s, it’s a fear of falling and it’s a natural fear.

Um, but everything else is learned. And so when Tom, when they’ve done studies around the world, didn’t matter what culture you’re in. Two fears pop up as at the top of the list, one that you just mentioned there, which is I’m a, I call it not being enough. Whether you’re enough for your wife, you know, to finish that project or enough at work or you’re enough for your clients, you’re not providing this, you know, I’m a fraud kind of thing, you know, I’m not, I’m not the guy that can get this done kind of thing. And we all go, yeah, absolutely. And it’s, I’m not enough. I’m not enough. And the other fear is I, and this I run into all the time with, with my relationship work is I’m never going to be loved, you know, I’m not going to find that special person or you know, uh, for some reason, you know, I attract a lot of single and divorced men and they’re just really struggling with the whole thing of, you know, where do I find this person and how, you know, is it possible?

And so it’s a mindset thing. And um, but those are learned, those are learned through evidence, you know, in our lives and for whatever reason in your background that did that, it’s common, it’s the most common one. I mean, I mean, I go through this all the time, am I going to be enough for my, for my clients? And one of the things that I share with them, you know, very first session is I’ll do whatever it takes to help you get what you want. And, and, and they probably go, yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear this all the time. But until they actually see it inherent and see the evidence of it, you know, then all of a sudden they go, wow, he means it. And I know it’s a fear of I don’t want to let this person down. Just like, you don’t want to let your wife down.

I don’t want to let my wife down either. You know her in our current situation, you know, where she’s a full time caregiver for our son. I mean, there’s times that you, it’s a struggle, man. It’s brutally hard and there are times and I don’t want to let her down, whether it’s helping out and doing something or taking care of him or letting her go out like last night letting her go have dinner with her mom would, I’d like to go have dinner too. Sure. But I want her to have that time as well. And so, so yeah, I love that. I mean that’s a, that’s a real fear and it’s very common with a lot of guys. So, um, I love what I’m hearing about what you’re doing with your company and everything. So, so obviously the question I have is do you like where your, where your life is headed? Is your future exciting with um, with interview valet? Do you have any other things that you’re thinking of or that you could share with us that, um, we’re, we’re, uh, Tom Schwab is going,

you know, I, I turned 50 a couple of years ago, but yeah, a couple of years ago, I’m 52 now and I looked at that as my jubilee year and looked at the old testament and said, you know, every seven years or rest, and uh, then after seven, seven years of seven a is here and it said not to start anything new as my wife held me to that and after that I just started looking at it and saying I need to do less things better. You know, the Bible tells us we can do all things through Christ. It never says you can do everything through Christ. And I misread it for so long. It’s like, Oh yeah, I can do, I can do that. So I’m trying to do fewer things better. So you know, my, my focus is on really three things. It’s on interview valet.

I’m also involved with you from the top and iron sharpens iron mastermind there with Aaron Walker. And then the third thing is my family. And uh, God says God has blessed me with a wonderful family. I always say I’ve got three great. I’m sorry, four great children, a great son in law and two wonderful grandchildren because my wife gets mad if I call them great grandchildren. She just like, it makes you feel old. But, um, those are the three things, you know, people are like, what do you, what do you do for hobbies? I gave up golf. I know I’d rather go to the park and um, and to push my grandkids on the swing, uh, you know, my Sabbath Day is when I get to spend with them, I’ll, I’ll work from sunup to sundown, but, you know, on Wednesday afternoons when we get to pick them up and spend the evening with them, you know, that special time for me, uh, you know, Saturday afternoon when they come over and spend the night here and then we take them to church in the morning. Those are special times. So, um, you know, if, if those, if those three things are all I have in my life, I have a full full life.

Yeah. And the neat thing about that, I’m working with a young guy who’s half your age and, and um, uh, more than half my age, but um, or excuse me, less than atomized obviously, but uh, and uh, he told me a dream that he had something he wants to do in, in business and I go and I looked at him and I said, you know, as his coach, I said, you know, you’re not going to be able to feed your family. He goes, I know I go. So what we have to do is find something that you do and do well that you can use to drive you to get to that. Um, and that way, because he told me, he goes, if I could just sit, it’s a gym to gym, you sign. If I could just be at a gym sitting there and have time to work out and spend time with my family, I would be so happy. I said, wow, that sounds like a great vision, man. It. But I’m hearing what I, when I, when I heard that from him, the calmness in his voice, Tom, was the same calmness I heard in your voice when you said, when, when my grandkids come over here and I can take him for a walk in the park. I mean, I, all of a sudden you felt this pressure just lower inside of Tom and um, and I feel that, I mean, it’s, that’s an amazing place to be. And um,

you know, I’ve always said that those little kids have no idea if my schedule, they had no idea of time, but they should understand my priorities and um, you know, and um, I used to struggle with that. It’s like, well, what if a client thinks this or what if I don’t get right back to him and, you know, Lord more I realized that, uh, um, if my clients don’t understand, then they’re probably not good customers for me. Um, the, my best clients are the ones that understand, uh, you know, there was one called me the other night and uh, you know, I was with the kids and I try not to pull my phone out when they’re around. I don’t want to set a bad example, but I had an opportunity and I’m a, I just texted back really quick, um, you know, is it urgent, um, with the grandkids, can I call you tomorrow? And the next day he said, man, I, I got more respect for you right now that you chose your grandkids over a customer. And I’m like, well, you know, it’s not, it was one of the other, if it was urgent, I would’ve found a way to do it for you. Uh, but no, I’m not gonna I’m not gonna put somebody on the phone, have somebody in front of me,

you know, I love hearing that because I’m one of the guys I was just sharing with you about him earlier. We worked on that whole thing we’ve been working on after about a year now with his kids because he’s multi screens, you know, mind going a million miles a minute. I’m never had time to talk to them on the phone or take them out and, and always had his phone with him so he had to learn to leave his phone in his car and all that good stuff. And, and um, one of the things I’ve learned that as well through him too is that, you know, whether it’s at your church or in your own family or in your business, if there are certain values and principles that are important to you, um, and somebody comes into your home or into your business and they can’t, um, respect those values or principles.

They just might. It doesn’t make them a bad person. It’s just not a good fit. So a client that doesn’t understand, hey, just like, just like right before this call, my client called me because we have an open agreement. Call me when you’re, when you have a question and he either texts me or calls me and, and if I have time I take the call, but he knows that and he’s probably the only one I’ll do that with. And, but as soon as I said, hey, I’ve got an interview in five minutes, he goes, okay, call me later. I said, you got it, man, but I don’t feel any, any resentment there or you know what I’m saying, any resistance because he understands and that’s what I’m teaching him as well. Um, but it’s, you know, sometimes things aren’t a good fit. Sometimes a customer is not a good fit. And, and for you to take on a customer that’s going to cause you a resentment and rejection, it’s not worth it, is it?

I’ll be just not already. I have to say the worst business site advice I ever got was from my grandfather. And it was the only wrong thing that old Irishman ever told me. I was about 17 years old going away to the navy and uh, uh, we’re sitting down having a beer and uh, he said, choose carefully who you drink with because you can’t choose who you work with. Now, for him it was reality. He was, he was a mechanic in a small town. If you came to a with a, your car, you were his customer, he can, couldn’t be choosy. But the thing is, is our world is different. I just got access to, to millions, hundreds of millions of potential customers. So we do ourselves a disservice and have them a disservice if they’re not an ideal customer. I can’t tell you the number of people that I talked to him and I’m like, yeah, podcast, interview marketing will work for you, but we’re not the right agency for you.

And um, you know, uh, I’ve had ones that have tried to say, well, what if I, you know, what if I’m, you know, I pay more, I really want to work with you. And it’s like, sorry. You know, like you said, it doesn’t mean that they’re a bad person. I’m not doing any judgements on that, but you don’t fall in line with where we have success. And so, uh, you know, uh, I, I want to be honest with that going forward. So, uh, at that, just one of those things I look at, you know, God has given me certain gifts and has blessed me with certain things and I want to make sure that I can look and say interview Valet, um, is, is usually the talents to expand the kingdom, right? I want to have stopped at the light. If I’m amplifying, amplifying people’s messages, I want to be proud of now, it may not that I agree 100 percent with everything that they believe, but they’ve got to be exposing goodness, right? Amplifying the light and there’s enough people out there amplifying darkness. I don’t need to do that.

Right? And, you know, learning, and it sounds like you’ve learned that making hard choices will lead to an easy life for Tom Swab and his family. Whereas most people would. I use what I learned years ago from a Tony Robbins was, um, easy choices or a level he called them. Level three choices where it’s like, it feels good to make the choice because it’s easy, but it doesn’t serve anybody. It doesn’t serve the greater good and doesn’t serve yourself and just leads to pain. It leads to pain because we’re just kicking the can down the road, you know, bringing on an employee because you have to have somebody a and all of a sudden they become cancerous in your company and they can literally start to eat away at it. It’s your vision and your dream was it worth it because you needed somebody at the time it wasn’t worth it.

And uh, and you’ve learned that and hopefully, hopefully we’re both teaching that through what we do. And you know, I share it with young parents all the time, you know, making those hard choices because when you’re a parent and your child is in their twenties or thirties, and if you’re still parenting them, you didn’t do a good job as a parent. You didn’t make those hard choices when they were 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 years old. And uh, there’s nothing worse than seeing a 30 year old. I’m young person being parented by his, you know, his 50 or 60 year old mom and dad and I always share that if they’re your friends in their twenties and thirties, you’ve done a good job. They’re your friends now. Um, and that’s, that’s a blessing because that means we did the hard work when it was important to do that.

Yup. Great. Raising adults. We’re not raising children.

Oh boy. Look around. Right? Huh. Uh, but, but isn’t that part of why the problems that we have today with, with almost a 50 percent fatherless homes

mean I remember, I remember my dad, he passed away about 17 years ago, but I can still hear his voice saying that you could rearrange the letters and father or dad and you’ll never get friend out of it. I love my sister used to. My sister, she had a, she had a temper and she would look at my dad had just scowl at him and say, I don’t love you anymore. And he would smile back at her and say, well, I don’t love you any less.

Yeah, I love that. Um, you know, and I can go into a whole thing on that because even though my dad was there, I, I can sit, we didn’t have a great relationship at all. It was not, it was not good. But, uh, in my life I was so blessed to have coaches and teachers, which is probably why from as early as I can remember all it’s all I ever wanted to do. I wanted to coach, I want to be a teacher and because I was so blessed to be around those men and they just poured into me, you know, that’s the gentleman I was telling you earlier, the client of mine, because I was his coach 31 years ago. And when we got back together, he goes, he goes, you know, coach, he goes, you, you were one of the first guys that just poured into me, man, you, you took me under your wing and you cared about me.

And because he, you know, he, even though his dad taught him things, but his dad was very abusive to him. And um, I didn’t know that. I just, I, I try to treat everybody the same way, you know, I treated them like they were my kids even though I didn’t have any kids, you know, they’re, you know, but there had to be that fine line of respect as well because I could have fallen into the trap of, you know, as a 21 year old young man, you know, with 18 year old athletes, that’s a dangerous place to be, you know, um, but God allowed me to push through that and to learn from it. And, and some of those, some of those young men are some of my best friends today. Um, so, uh, I love that. I love the fact of, uh, you know, helping men to make those tough choices in life and you get to do it again as a, as a, as now a grandfather as well.

You get to see to pour into that as well. So, uh, uh, have fun with that one. Um, but let me, let me ask this as we kind of wind down here a little bit, Tom, I want to be respectful of your time. Um, could you leave, um, those listening, one or two things that might make a difference or they could make a difference that have, you know, over the, over your life, man. They mean you just shared one right there as a 17 year old that maybe, uh, has, has made a difference in your life that you could put your finger on and say, Hey, look, this is one or two nuggets that if you were just, um, embrace could make a difference in your life. You know, I, I’d have to go back from something I learned from an atheist. And if you’ve never seen Penn Jillette’s [inaudible] video on a pasta, I go ahead and video, just do a youtube search on it. And I love this. And Penn, Penn Jillette is a devout atheist, but he tells the story of somebody coming up to him and um, you know, after a performance and a came up and said, hey, I, I know you are

ads, but I just wanted to give you this Bible just in case you ever wanted it. And David Tour and pencil lead said that, you know, he said, I’ll never read that, but he said, I respect that person because that person cared enough about me. He said, it’s almost like you’re crossing the street and there’s a bus coming and somebody sees that you’re going to get hurt. And they’re like, Eh, I don’t want to say anything. I don’t want to do anything because it could be awkward. All the rest of that, he’s like, how bad do you have to hate a person in order not, not to, to tell them as he said, this person cared about me enough for it to be awkward, um, to, you know, tell me what I do with the information is up to me. And I think it’s the same not only for our faith, but other things that we know in life, right?

Um, I have learned things through my 52 years. People have taught me things. I’ve been blessed with that. And it’s so easy now to share those on a podcast. There’s a podcast guest in a blog, in a video I’m getting into mastermind, even mentoring somebody else. And you look at that and you have to say how bad the you have to hate somebody else not to share something that would, um, that would help their life. And I look at that and say, man, that’s one of the things that I always encourage people, what, you know, could help other people, you know, what’s ordinary to you is amazing to other people. So the, the person that’s 20 years old has, has lessons that he could teach to the high school students. The fifth year old has lessened that he could teach to the young father and vice versa. So with that, I always encourage people, you know, if you’ve learned something, if someone has taught you something, you’ve got the obligation to teach that to somebody else. And, and today we don’t have any excuses, you know, if you’re ignorant or isolated today with the Internet and everything is by choice. And uh, um, as I, I hope I hear well done, good and faithful servant and not, you know, I talked to you so much outcome you took it, took it to your grave with you.

Yeah. I love that too, because I think we, we may have both, we may have got that phrase from the same source, which was um, purpose driven life, uh, and I remember in there and it really made an impact on me. It’s like when I, when I’m done with this, I just hope that God says, well done, you know? Yeah. And um, because that’s all we can do and it brings to mind as we close here because I want to take a few minutes as we end to, to get more information about, um, interview valet. But, um, I had uh, a wonderful man that’s a client of mine pass away yesterday and it was very sad even though he’s in a better place. He’s with his wife now, but I always ask the question, you know, and I’ve done little talks on it as well. Why does he, even though he wasn’t, he was older than 85.

Why does an 85 year old man die alone in what I consider a retirement community? I used to say son city, but it could be any retirement community. Why does he die alone? And people kind of shrug their shoulders and, you know, and then I go, well, compare that to the 19 year old that dies and there’s a thousand people at their funeral. And the reason there’s a thousand people there, Tom, is because of the potential, what could have been right. And the reason the man dies alone at 85 was he didn’t do anything. And, um, and that’s why whenever there’s a, and I’ve been to many, many field, but I have a rule now I only go to funerals where I can talk because that person impacted my life and uh, and, and sad when they went out, when the family doesn’t choose to do that.

And I’m because this man impacted my life. And um, um, and so I think that’s what it’s about, you know, uh, there’s not enough of us that live our lives to, to make that impact with God’s. God’s given us all gifts. And you’ve, you’ve used your gifts now to build this amazing company in, in, into a connect people with, you know, even me, look what you did for me with Aaron Walker. That’s, that was like, wow, that’s pretty cool. And uh, and that’s because you did what you did. So, um, yeah, I mean it’s all about making that impact and it’s certainly not about taking our gifts that we get from God. Our gifts to him is what we do with them. Right? Exactly. Yeah. So, so I’m Tom. I know. Like I said, I want to honor your time. Why don’t you take the last couple minutes here and just share with everybody the, uh, anything else you may, you may want to talk about with a interview via la, how they can connect with you guys. Uh, uh, you have a very interactive website. Tell people about anything like that. Uh, will also include all that in the show notes as well.

Sure. Alright. And I’m thrilled to be here and if, you know, if you got a product, a service that you know, could help people, it’s just that they need to know about you. Your biggest problem is that are obscure to the people that you could serve a, you know, if you’re an author, a coach, or a speaker, a brand, a company, uh, we would love to work with you. I’d love to talk with you and even give you an evaluation to say, hey would podcast it’d be marketing work for you and I’ll put a new test. I know you’re multitasking here. So if you just go to interview valet.com, forward slash answers, that should be easy to remember for answers for real men. Just interview valet.com, forward slash answers. Um, I’ll put all my contact information there and I also, I wrote a book about a 10 months ago called podcast guests profit, how to grow your business with a targeted podcast strategy until you can buy it on Amazon. But if you go to that page and I’ll have a free download right there for you. So if you go to interview valet.com, forward slash answers, we can connect

and is. That is amazing. I’m Tom. Again, thank you so much for your insight today. You’re in for sharing your heart and a forgiveness, some, some really sound advice and, and an opportunity to, to grow our businesses and to, uh, in, in, like you said, to interact with other men around the world, you know, and, and, and form these bonds and these bands of brothers that we, we so desperately need right now in our society. And I think, I think what you and Aaron and the rest of the guys are doing is, is a, is a, is going to be play an integral part in all of this as we move forward because I don’t see it getting better immediately. I see it. It’s gonna take some work. It’s going to take some hard work and rolling up the sleeves and, and other men, you know, you know, get involved here and taking this thing on, you know.

And so I appreciate you a lot. I appreciate your wife for, for hooking me up with you guys. Um, and for Joe Foley as well, for, uh, for the introduction. But, um, hey guys, this is a coach, Arnie, and uh, we’ve been blessed today with Tom Schwab with a interview valet, so make sure you get over there and check out what he’s doing, all that will be included in the show notes and a, again, I get over to facebook and join our group but answers for real men. Share your thoughts, share your ideas, let us know how we can help you as well. And of course, get to itunes and we love those five star ratings, which stuff. We’re also on stitcher and hot chaser in some other place out there. So again, we appreciate everybody being here. We love you.

And, uh, thanks again and I am out of here